Weekend Festivities

It was a busy weekend in Stratford upon Avon. The official birthday celebrations of Shakespeare took place on Saturday and the town was flooded with foreign secretaries and diplomats. Getting in and out of the town is beginning to be a nightmare -- the usual summer madness that comes with living in the center of town.


It was the Stratford half-marathon on Sunday. The route passed our house, so it was fun to watch the sweating masses from the comfort of our living room whilst munching breakfast in our jim-jams! B asked "why are they running?" I didn't have a good answer.

May 5th Local Elections (UK)

And now, for a party political message from:

Las Vegas

I recently spent a couple of days in the office in Stamford, Connecticut, north of New York, but then flew to Las Vegas for one of our big events. This was a similar trip to the one I did in January, but the difference this time was that I didn't fly back to London in the middle of it!

I had a much better experience in Las Vegas this time too. The event was terrific from a professional perspective, and I didn't throw my back out like last time. But my second impression of Las Vegas was pretty much the same as my first; I'm not that keen on it. I can see why people would love this place, but I can't quite get my head around the constant gambling. I don't understand why so many people would gamble so much money knowing that the odds a stacked so high against you. It just seems like a waste of time. But I guess those same people wouldn't understand why I like climbing mountains or walking to London for fun. It takes all types, I suppose.

One thing is very impressive about Las Vegas; it really was built right in the middle of the desert. And it's still getting bigger. Quite incredible.

National Trust-ing: Charlecotte Park & Cliveden

We spent a couple of recent weekends National Trust-ing. Visiting these beautiful properties and gardens makes for a great day out. And besides, the tea and cake is usually exceptional!

Here are some pictures of Charlecotte Park, which is about 5 miles from our home in Stratford upon Avon. As you can imagine, every local building has some kind of Shakespeare claim to fame, and Charlecotte is no exception. Shakespeare allegedly poached regularly on this estate.

We also visited Cliveden, near High Wycombe, which is a magnificent stately home that commands spectacular views over Berkshire. It is now a very fancy hotel, but the grade 1 listed gardens are open to visitors.

US Presidential Election: Message to American Citizens

This was emailed to me by a good friend in the U.S.

Message from John Cleese To the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and nuclear, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing them.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $12/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). In the meantime don't try rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God save the Queen!

Race Retro: Stoneleigh Abbey

On Sunday, we braved the howling wind and driving rain to attend Race Retro, an historic motorsport show hosted at Stoneleigh Abbey near Warwick. The four large exhibition halls were jam-packed with shining examples of classic sports cars and racing motorcycles, including the gleaming Ford GT40 pictured above. One hall was dedicated to "Auto Test", a motorsport that involves driving at crazy speeds in first gear using only the handbrake to spin around cones in multiple directions.

Despite losing the feeling in our fingers and toes, we enjoyed the rally stages. Classic rally cars from the 80's and 90's hurtled around the track. My particular favorite was the Audi Quattro; this was the car I desired most as a schoolboy.

Thanks go to the author of the Car List Blog for the recommendation for this great day out.

Official Classification?

As a fanatical cloud spotter, I tend to spot the difference between cumulus mediocris radiatus and altostratus translucidus. K is convinced that I make the names up as we drive along and I slip the odd classification into our regular conversation. But I don't make it up; far from it. The study of clouds is a rather specific science within the subject of meteorology. In fact, there are more than 30 varieties within 12 different species of 10 distinct genus of cloud (did you follow that?). 

So I just had to take a photo of this beautiful specimen last week. Problem is, I've been studying my various books on cloud genus (yes, I admit to possessing a rather large, sad collection) and I can't identify this one. The time has come for me to contact the ultimate cloud guru for advice; Gavin Pretor-Pinney, the Chairman of the The Cloud Appreciation Society. Answer hopefully to follow....

A Noisy Reminder from the City That Never Sleeps

During my most recent trip to New York, it struck me just how noisy the city can be all night. I remember clearly my first night living downtown in the city because the din throughout the night was deafening; car horns, sirens, traffic, music and interludes of general shouts and screams from the drunk or generally deranged local inhabitants. It's something that we got used to quickly, but any period away from the city removes the resistance one builds up against it.

This picture is of the road below my hotel window at midnight; total gridlock. 

Waymarking Part III

The temptation to waymark a little more of the Shakespeare's Avon Way was too strong, so I volunteered to help along another stretch from Weston on Avon down to Bidford. It's always great to be out walking, but this stretch of the Warwickshire countryside is, I'm sad to say, less than pretty. It's not ugly, it's just a little bland. This photo of Bidford sums the walk up; not beautiful, just rural.

But the air was fresh and clean, and I stomped a few miles in my boots, so it was much better than painting the hall, which is what I have successfully put off for months.

I love Iris, but don't tell anyone

Yes, I love "Iris". It's a retina scanning machine that allows British citizens to skip the massive line at passport control in Heathrow. It took me 5 minutes to register (it's free!) on my latest trip out to New York and then, when I returned to Heathrow, I walked straight up to the machine, blinked my eyes and walked straight through. I didn't have to show my passport. I was literally on the other side before the person I was walking behind from the plane had reached the end of the 300+ people queue!

But don't tell anyone. If it becomes popular, I won't get through so quickly!

London: Natural History Museum & British Library

We spent the weekend in London, visiting the Natural History Museum (NHM) and the British Library.

The NHM is like a cathedral housing an incredible collection of, what appears to be, everything. We only explored the ground floor in a day. 

During our visit, we saw a fantastic collection of dinosaurs (not a patch on the Museum of Natural History in New York, though) and I encouraged B to go to the Antarctic explorers exhibit. Anyone who knows me is aware of my love of mountains and polar exploration, so I have high hopes for B! I'm hoping he gets over this image of me in a base camp coat.

We also visited the British Library. B enjoyed a fantastic story telling session in the sacred texts room. The stories were ancient tales from different religions around the world; we enjoyed it as much as B.

After a quick look at the Magna Carter, we visited the new St Pancras station, the home of the Eurostar train to Europe. It's a beautiful building - an incredible mix of victorian and modern engineering.

Perfect Winter Morning

Taking Hobbes for his early morning walk today, I couldn't help but stop and take this picture. The view is down the Avon to Holy Trinity. What a glorious Winter's morning.

Motor Heritage Museum

We took B and a couple of his petrol-head buddies (yes, at age just 4) to the Motor Heritage Museum in Warwickshire. It's an amazing hidden secret for anyone who appreciates classic British cars. Here's a few, including my favorite Land Rover with caterpillar tracks.

Waymarking Part II

A couple of weekends ago, I waymarked the Shakespeare's Avon Way south from Stratford upon Avon to Weston on Avon. Last weekend, I waymarked north to Hampton Lucy over the Welcombe hills. A striking feature of the walk was this monolith. It was raised by a wealthy local land owner in honor of his brother in the late 19th century. It dominates the highest point in Stratford, a point that affords wonderful views for many miles along the broad valley created over centuries by the River Avon.

This section of the walk is also policed by killer cows. Take note of this group -- you'll see them on Crime Watch some time soon.

If you ever doubted that cows charge, here's a video to prove it. They had obviously just eaten a couple of unfortunate walkers because they spared me........

Pancake Day!

Walking Boots, Rucksack and a Hammer

I'm not exactly sure of the circuitous route that found me walking this weekend with a bag of way markers, galvanised nails and a rather large hammer, but it was a great day to be doing it. 

I'm helping the Shakespeare's Avon Way Association way mark a new long distance path from Naseby to Tweksebury, a distance of 84 miles that follows the River Avon from its source to where it joins the River Severn. It's a delightful walk following the river through some very pretty countryside in Warwickshire and Gloucestershire. 

Way marking involves following the route already determined by the walk's originator, Jenny Davidson, hammering in small signs (pictured above) to help walkers navigate the route. Detailed Ordnance Survey maps are still needed, but the way marks really help to keep your head out of the map for a little while. I really found the way marks on the Shakespeare's Way long distance path extremely useful in some tricky spots. And, strangely, after walking 100+ miles looking out for Shakespeare's oddly shaped and balding head, they become a reassuring little friend.

The early morning sunshine bathed some attractive features along the river on this unseasonably warm Sunday morning. Looking back along the River Avon to Stratford upon Avon, Holy Trinity Church stood out proudly.

The rusting old railway bridge along the disused line from Long Marston to Stratford upon Avon.

Evidence of the recent floods could be seen along the banks of the river. The long grasses and hay from nearby barns had been compressed into the fences more than 10 feet above the current level of the river.

This house in the picturesque village of Welford on Avon had featured on millions of boxes of Cadbury chocolates in the 1940's and 1950's. Welford on Avon also boasts the tallest May Pole in England -- some say the world -- but that's a whole different blog post to explain that quirky English tradition to my friends worldwide.

And this church in Weston on Avon caught my eye for its sheer simple beauty. No stained glass windows, just functional 14th century Christianity in rural Warwickshire at its best.

Now you see it, now you don't

The renovation of the Royal Shakespeare Theatre continues to move ahead despite the dreadful weather. As the picture shows, the main structure has now nearly gone and it's quite incredible that the shell is being held together by a framework of steel scaffolding. Work has not yet begun on the older Swan theatre, which is an integral part of the main structure.

New York to London to Las Vegas in 24 Hours

Another year, another crazy schedule. After a week in the balmy mild weather of New York, I returned to the UK for a couple of hours to do some laundry and then set off for Las Vegas. I can safely say that flying 10,000 miles in 24 hours is not the best way to spend your day. My poor travel planning rewarded me with a major muscle strain in my back which prompted a trip to the doctor for a head-spinning cocktail of drugs to relieve the pain and reduce the swelling.  This wasn't exactly the way I imagined getting a bad back in Vegas!

Here's a few pictures from the airstrip when I was about to take off - it's about as much as I got to see of the place.

Festive Theatre

Over the Christmas period, we saw a trio of excellent plays. 

We'd greatly recommend the Little Angel's Theatre production of "Fantastic Mr. Fox", which we saw at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre.  It was perfect for the under 5's because it wasn't too scary -- and great for the over 5's because it's a classic Roald Dahl story brilliantly told.

"If all the world were paper" at the Warwick University Arts Center was OK, but not great; certainly not up to the incredibly high standard usually produced by Oiley Cart. B and the other children we took really enjoyed it though. 

But the best show had to be "Adventures of Tintin" in London. As a lifelong Tintin fanatic, the thought of seeing Tintin on the stage did not really appeal for some reason. It was probably because I thought the incredible eye for detail that Herge possessed could not possibly be translated onto the stage. How wrong I was. Beautifully staged and faithfully accurate, this was a spectacular recreation of the comic in 3D and full colour. Complete with laughs and dramatic moments of spine chilling daring-do, this was a show Tom and I enjoyed from the very outset. A must see, as they say in theatre land.

Woodstock -- not that one!

We visited Woodstock in the Cotswolds on New Year's Eve. It's famous for being a) the home of Winston Churchill at Blenheim Palace b) the same name as the original flower power and mud festival in the US and c) the home of the best darn Chinese restaurant and Steak 'n Ale pie! The palace and "column of victory", pictured here within the pretty market town, is probably the most photogenic of the three.